The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a cynic to a professional in the corporate world
During his inconsistent first 20 years in a business environment, Tom Dowd learned lessons, both positive and negative, which transformed into shared professional success. The experiences guide readers to differentiate themselves and enable them to work smarter—not harder—to thrive in corporate chaos that, due to the current economic conditions, has taught the employed and unemployed alike to simply try to survive.
Following is the next chapter in Dowd's book, The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a cynic to a professional in the corporate world. Earlier chapters are linked at the end.
47. Don't Try to Boil the Ocean
The first time I ever heard the corporate jargon, "you can't boil the ocean," I was impressed with the simplicity and obvious nature of the statement. We have all bitten off more than we could chew at one time or another. I would think there are enough clichés related to this topic for all of us to get the point. However, we don't get the point. Whether we are in an effort to overachieve, trying to do too much, or trying to be the corporate hero, we all try to boil the ocean sometime.
There are a couple of key points. First, I have worked for managers who were unclear in their expectations of me relating to deliverables. The vagueness, or in some cases, vastness of the request was not realistic. I am all for stretch goals and the reach required to develop me while strengthening the business. However, if you're asked to solve world peace, and your manager wanted you to think globally and act locally, these are two different requests (I couldn't resist the additional cliché). The requester should have the end result in mind in order for the task to be fully understood and determined feasible. If the realistic nature of the end state is in question, refer back to the requestor. An assessment may be needed to determine if the request is even possible prior to investing too much into an unattainable request. However, the expectation needs to be clear that you are being asked for an assessment, not the ultimate end state.
Tom has more than 20 years of experience in the financial industry in management and leadership roles, and runs his own business, Thomas Dowd Professional Development & Coaching, as a speaker, author, trainer and coach. Tom developed a series of management presentations into a speaking program called "Powerful Professional Transformation: Unleashing Leadership." The speaking engagements turned into "The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World," a book detailing Tom's own professional growth based on lessons learned in his career. "Transformation" received honorable mention in the business category at the 2012 New England Book Festival. Tom has since written his second book "From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide."
Tom is currently the vice president of education for Dirigo Toastmasters Club in Belfast. Toastmasters International is a supportive learning environment of more than 270,000 members worldwide looking to improve communication and leadership skills. As a founding member of the club, Tom has been involved in Toastmasters since September 2008. Tom holds advanced communication and advanced leadership certifications with Toastmasters International, including High Performance Leadership certification. In November 2011, Tom was selected as the District 45 Toastmaster of Year, which represents more than 100 clubs in the states of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire and the three Eastern Canadian Provinces of Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Tom has also exhibited consistent success when competing at the division (state level equivalent) and district levels in Toastmasters speech contests, which include humorous, inspirational, impromptu and evaluation events. He was the Table Topics Impromptu 2012 District Champion. Additionally, he is a member of the National Speakers Association and a member of the Camden Lions Club.
Tom graduated from the University of Delaware in 1990 with a Communication degree, concentrating on interpersonal and organizational communication.
Tom currently lives in Camden with his wife and three daughters.
Second, if you are the one doing the tasks, you can't take on the world by yourself all the time. If you try to boil the ocean by yourself, you will only succeed in increasing your frustration over time. I am a huge fan of small victories. I am not taking the easy way out, but I want you to be accepting of recognition for successful progression. The small victories will add up to many large wins. However, if you are constantly swinging for home runs, you may eventually hit one, but only after you strike out quite a few times. If you go for solid hits, and use the support system around you, you will all succeed as a team (I couldn't resist the baseball analogy). If you are the recipient of the grandiose "empty out the ocean" instructions, break it down into smaller parts. You need to also understand ultimately what the end result should look like. If you do not understand the expectations, ask clarifying questions until you get it.
Sometimes, managers aren't exactly sure what we are asking. Managers may pass down information that is filtered, and re-translated. It is your obligation to slow down the process enough for clear directions in order to increase satisfaction, improve production, and gain more wins by not boiling the ocean. If there is a big body of water in front of you, gather the team, resources, and invest the time required to confirm expectations needed to navigate through it. Far too many times, we attempt to do too much on our own. We can divide the responsibilities based on skill set, experience level, or many other ways. The point is the team can accomplish more with clear instruction and role clarity.
Our success is in our ability to know what is being asked of us and that we can't do it all on our own. The best leaders make sure they know what is being asked of them and don't do it by themselves. They surround themselves with a well organized team, delegate effectively, and play to everyone's strengths.
48. Be Responsible With the Power of Position (P.O.P.)
Do you understand your true relationship with the people that work for you? If you are a manager of others, you are given power simply by having the title of manager next to your name. This title comes with great responsibility. Dr. Paul Hersey wrote in The Situational Leader that, "Power is influence potential. Power is the resource that enables a leader to gain compliance or commitment from others." Earlier in my career, I knew people "had" to listen to me because they reported to me, so I took advantage of it. I wasn't cocky or arrogant. I took advantage of what I thought were my responsibilities to provide feedback and make people better. The feedback pointed towards me at times was that I was often too direct and to the point. My intent was never to belittle, but to make my people better. I had not established a solid enough foundational relationship to be this direct. I was learning to be a manager, but I was not learning to be a leader.
I once walked into a new hire classroom and was asked a business-related question. My answer contradicted the trainer, who was not in the room. I instantly blurted out that she was wrong. The shocked looks on the newly hired employees said all that needed to be said. A so-called titled manager of this company had just taken away the respect that the trainer had been working so hard to gain. There were better ways to handle that situation. I could have said, "Let me check on that and get back to you," and discussed it with the trainer. Regardless of the final "right" answer, we both were in positions of authority in the eyes of the employees, and I abused my power and potentially adversely impacted the credibility of both myself and the trainer. I may have also left a lasting impression on the new employees' opinions about their decision to stay with the company. They may have asked themselves if all managers were like me.
Some people feared me. I grew to realize the fear wasn't because they would get yelled at. I made people feel badly for not performing at a level I thought they should be. I did not account for their individual circumstances, such as tenure, experience, and confidence. I would push everyone the same way, with the same intensity. This method worked for a few people, but not for most employees.
I followed policies to the letter of the law, and people did not see me as someone who would listen to all sides. I was their manager and not their leader. One day, I placed someone on corrective action for a customer situation. I based it on the side of the story I heard from others. When the person chose to supersede my authority and went to see my manager, I was upset that he had gone over my head. He told a completely different story from my interpretation. What I learned was that I thought I knew all of the answers, knew the policy, and had the authority to make the corrective-action decision. I soon found out I was missing facts and needed to listen more. When the situation settled down, I realized that I could have supported the employee by listening to his side prior to making any decisions. We all would have been better off. My manager gave me simple feedback that stuck with me: "You need to be sensitive to the power of your position." That day, I put a note on my desk that read, "P.O.P" to remind me every day of the power of my position.
Managers and leaders must decide how to effectively use the authority given to them when they start managing people. There are times when managers must make tough decisions to use their authority and position. However, everything is not about reprimanding. There are positive uses of authority, such as issuing rewards and recognition. What's important is the person in the position of power understands and assesses each situation as being unique.
A manager also may have the power of having more information at his or her fingertips than people may want or need. Managers have natural power that comes with the title and how they wield it becomes important in the eyes or their employees. Sometimes, I might just need the person to listen to me. If there is a fire in the building, that may not be the best time for a group discussion. However, I weighed too heavily in the past on this type of management style as a way to send my messages to employees about what to do, as opposed to them learning on their own or coming up the learning curve at their own pace. I had to understand how to adapt my style based on what was required at the time for the person, the situation, and me. This learning moment was critical to my own development, for my effectiveness as a leader, and for the earned respect of the people who worked for me.
Every move a manager makes is watched. As a manager, you are on stage whether you like it or not. You may not always be respected, but people feel the requirement to listen to you due to a fear of losing their job, repercussions to their job or responsibilities, or impacts to their compensation. You have the power of your position and must be careful in how this power is exercised. What kind of reputation do you have? I didn't know my reputation except for what was coming to me through focus groups and some feedback from my managers. I wish I had listened—I mean truly listened—because they were always accurate. Do you want respect because of the title, or do you want respect because of the work you and your team are able to accomplish? The power to move the business and gain the respect of the people around you is greater when that respect is earned and put to good use. We should make the effort to make the most of the influence we are given.
49. Know When to Let Go and Move On (Get Over It)
As written earlier, I spend the thirty minute drive home from work analyzing my day to look for what went right. Unfortunately, I do have bad days. In these cases, I spend the time evaluating what I did wrong and what I could have done better. It is a good way to assess my performance and myself so that I can become better the next time. I'm sure my wife appreciates the wind-down time more than when I worked two minutes from the house. Unfortunately, I also have a habit of over thinking my day's assessment and continuing this far into the night. I overanalyze a lot of things, but there have been too many times when I have beaten myself up over things I should have just let go.
As a newer manager, I wondered why a solid performer of mine had been out of the office for a long time. I was getting worried about him and decided to call to make sure he was alright. We had a decent relationship and I felt comfortable making the call. When he picked up the phone, he said he was quitting. I asked if there was anything I could do to keep him. I was not looking for him to go into his health history, but I did want him to know that I cared and that I was there to help. He said that he was having a nervous breakdown and "no thank you" to the assistance. I thought the response was odd considering that he had never had any performance or conduct issues in the past.
He had always come to work with a smile on his face, ready to work, and gave no indication of any mental issues. However, I knew I was getting out of my psychiatric league, so I offered some internal services to help. He responded as if he was annoyed with my caring attitude. He said that I could not help, but if I truly wanted to know what was going on he would tell me. I was hesitant now, but if he wanted to get something off his chest, he could use me as a sounding board. He told me he had broken up with his girlfriend. Now, I personally was no expert on relationships since I was single at the time, however, I knew it could sometimes be difficult. However, I did not think that most break-ups caused nervous breakdowns.
I thought I was being a good manager when I said he could use more time away from the office so he could work things out. He started to yell at me and said it was not possible to come back to work, ever. This was probably the time in the conversation to let things calm down, but I wanted to be the patient manager and be a good listener. The employee went on to say that his ex-girlfriend was the official voice on the prompt that every associate in the company heard at the introduction of every single phone call. This means that he would have had to listen to her taped introduction every time he answered a call—eighty times a day. I learned a lesson that day: sometimes you can't help, even when you want to. You can always try, but there are times when we just need to let go. I later found out the person did need professional help and there was not much I would have been able to do for him long term.
Sometimes, there are better things around the corner. You may recall my story about when I was not hired for a position in which I would have managed hundreds, but was given the opportunity to start a new task-force role to reduce employee attrition. Not being hired for the original role taught me the value of losing, but also taught the lesson to "get over it." I started to realize the many great things that are ahead of us when we let go and move on. Hard work and patience did pay off with a job I was better suited for, even though I did not know it at the time. The great news when I changed jobs was that I did not have to relocate my family, and I have since grown into several other, higher-level roles because of that particular stepping stone. For further validation that I was on a better trajectory, several years later, the economy crashed, the site I would have worked in closed, and the market we had been house hunting in dropped like a rock. I most likely would have been in financial trouble.
We have all had bad days or want something different. We may want to revisit a mistake, we may want a "do over," we may want to go back to the way things were, or may want what we can't have. I have to repeat three simple words: Get over it. Sometimes, our control over circumstances is limited. We need to deal with what we can, and learn to get over the rest.
I grew much happier when I began to understand that my career is not a sprint, it is a marathon that I hope grows and prospers with my ability to learn and become better. To use business jargon, if we continue to try to "die on this hill" or "spin our wheels," our attempts to move forward are hindered. If I am going to hang on too long to something, I should make it the great days in my career. We should all play off the positive energy and momentum from the high points in our careers. We must take the appropriate time to recognize and celebrate the wins and enjoy them, learn from our trials, and get over the rest.
50. Send Your Message to One Person and Watch it Grow
I can remember the many times I was sending a message to a group of people and wondered why the entire group didn't get it. Trying to swing the tide for a group of people is difficult at times. Although more of an investment needs to be made up front, I have found consistent success in my ability to make a difference by working with one person at a time, or with smaller groups of people. People learn in different ways, and at different speeds. Although larger group lessons—especially business-specific training—may save time, more difficult or complex messages may be better suited for one-on-one situations or smaller groups.
Additionally, in meeting situations, there are a variety of personalities, opinions, and experience levels. Not everyone in a room or a meeting is going to agree with what is being said, interpret what is being said the same way, or even engage in the same way. If you are trying to gain mutual buy-in for a new proposal, for example, you can gain an advantage in getting your points across more effectively if you have support already in the room. You can prepare by having conversations ahead of time with specific individuals. Even a quick conversation hitting key points reduces the surprise factor and will engage that person more in the conversation about the message you are trying to convey. If you feel there is going to be contention, it is much easier with support already on your side. Popular opinions grow when there is more support behind them. Your invested time prior to the meeting will not be wasted time; in fact, the invested time should make the meeting more efficient and effective by minimizing the arguments and contrary dialogue. I am realistic enough to know that the pre-meetings are not required for every meeting, but a targeted approach for key circumstances will be beneficial when there is a crucial message you want to convey.
I want to share a story about a message blossoming. I saw a résumé on a central printer in our workspace that was not organized well and contained multiple typographical errors. I decided to proactively contact the person and provide them feedback. I had experience in this field and wanted to make the story of her career stronger. I didn't know the person, but I wrote some notes and gave them to her manager to pass along. She came to see me and we went over the suggestions. The final product was excellent and one that made her burst with pride. She told some teammates about our interaction. I soon had a few more résumé conversations that turned into career direction conversations. I felt like a counselor, but I was enjoying the interaction and felt like each conversation was a learning experience for everyone. I was making a difference one person at a time. I became driven to help the people I was working with succeed. More often than not, they needed the little extra push to find their right path. I was learning that a positive message gets used and passed on.
In another example, I was invited to a small gathering to help spark interest in getting managers involved in developing themselves, developing their people, and getting more involved in the community. I shared many of my professional experiences, relating how my communication, confidence, and overall growth improved when I began to take steps to improve myself. I often mentioned Toastmasters as an opportunity for others to improve their communication and leadership skills. A few expressed interest in joining the group.
I was surprised when a senior leader whispered an invite to me to teach her managers how to more effectively manage up. I took the invitation and prepared an hour-long discussion. The small group interaction went well. A manager in another department had heard about it from one of the attendees and asked if I could teach his newer managers how to communicate more effectively. The session was expanded to include how to become more organized, how to network better, how to write résumés, and how to navigate through their careers. We turned the interactions into a monthly series, and the targeted audience was expanded to include more tenured managers and people from outside that particular line of business. Not one of these people reported to me, and not one of them was obligated to listen. I was learning to adapt my messages based on the audience, and was improving my ability to provide a message that people could walk away with and spread to others.
The next time you are finding little success in having your message absorbed, change your tack. You have important messages to send. Be proactive, patient, and creative. Pull someone to the side and watch the message spread.
Previous chapters:
• Part I-Vision and Mission, Introduction-The Roots of My Transformation
• Part II-The Transformation, Chapter 1-Get a Mentor
• Part II, Chapter 2 - Be a Mentor, and Learn Something Yourself
• Part II, Chapters 3 and 4 - Gain trust and respect; write down your accomplishments
• Part II, Chapters 5, 6, and 7 - Stop and smell the roses; send a note to say thank-you; learn to communicate assertively
• Part II, Chapters 8, 9, and 10 - Winning isn't evertything; 'Wait three months'; stand up for what's right
• Part II, Chapters 11, 12 and 13 - Differentiate yourself; be impatiently patient; prove people wrong
• Part II, Chapters 14, 15 and 16 - Prove people right, have diverse role models, write down your goals
• Part II, Chapters 17, 18 and 19 - Control what you can control; show compassion; set an example
• Part II, Chapters 20, 21 and 22 - Do something with book recommendations; live in the present, work smarter, not harder
• Part II, Chapters 23, 24, 25 and 26 - Let your music out; open the gift of feedback; step away and clear your head; be aware that 'nobody is not trying'
• Part II, Chapters 27, 28, 29 and 30 - Don't let people leave their manager or the company; be flexible and adaptable; have the right priorities and set the right priorities; build a network
• Part II, Chapters 31, 32, 33 and 34 - Lead the parade; be sensitive to multiple generations in the workplace; control self-imposed pressures, play music in the background
• Part II, Chapters 35, 36, 37 and 38 - Know your value proposition; build credibility and success through effective communication; understand communication preferences, know what the written word says about you
• Part II, Chapters 39, 40, 41 and 42 - Learn the value of effective verbal communication; take action-hope won't win the game without a game plan; learn to manage up-down- and around; laugh at work-laugh with others.
• Part II, Chapters 43, 44, 45 and 46 - Build, maintain a strong resume, manage your time-don't let it manage you (Parts I, II, III)
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