During his inconsistent first 20 years in a business environment, Tom Dowd learned lessons, both positive and negative, which transformed into shared professional success. The experiences guide readers to differentiate themselves and enable them to work smarter—not harder—to thrive in corporate chaos that, due to the current economic conditions, has taught the employed and unemployed alike to simply try to survive.

Following is the next chapter in Dowd's book, The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a cynic to a professional in the corporate world. Earlier chapters are linked at the end.

14. Prove People Right

When you are working with many people in an office, find positive people who support you, then stick with them. There will always be some level of negativity, all with varying degrees, in an office—nobody is perfect and mistakes are made. The question is, what is done to keep it alive and what is done to make it go away? Sometimes, the negativity is short lived because a sale was lost or a promotion was missed and people quickly got over it. In some cases, it is more long term, because of an economic recession, for example, during which people need more nurturing and support to find their way through. Negativity can start with an individual and quickly gain momentum to a group. Negativity has a tendency to grow like a cancer and build upon itself if the people affected don't make a conscious effort to stem the tide. We all have the choice to take action and surround ourselves with the types of people who want us to succeed, provide us constant support, and build a positive working environment.

In my early career, it seemed fun to sit around at lunch time and find things to complain about. One day, we would complain about the boss, the next day it may be a colleague, and the following day it may be a customer. I thought it was good therapy to get it all out and move on. However, we did not move on from the complaining. Even conversations about the weather were complaints about how hot and humid it was in the summer and how cold and miserable it was in the winter. My crowd of complainers built off the negative momentum. I found most of our conversations continued to have the same thread of negativity being pulled through.

Tom has more than 20 years of experience in the financial industry in management and leadership roles, and runs his own business, Thomas Dowd Professional Development & Coaching, as a speaker, author, trainer and coach. Tom developed a series of management presentations into a speaking program called "Powerful Professional Transformation: Unleashing Leadership." The speaking engagements turned into "The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World," a book detailing Tom's own professional growth based on lessons learned in his career. "Transformation" received honorable mention in the business category at the 2012 New England Book Festival. Tom has since written his second book "From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide."

Tom is currently the vice president of education for Dirigo Toastmasters Club in Belfast. Toastmasters International is a supportive learning environment of more than 270,000 members worldwide looking to improve communication and leadership skills. As a founding member of the club, Tom has been involved in Toastmasters since September 2008. Tom holds advanced communication and advanced leadership certifications with Toastmasters International, including High Performance Leadership certification. In November 2011, Tom was selected as the District 45 Toastmaster of Year, which represents more than 100 clubs in the states of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire and the three Eastern Canadian Provinces of Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Tom has also exhibited consistent success when competing at the division (state level equivalent) and district levels in Toastmasters speech contests, which include humorous, inspirational, impromptu and evaluation events. He was the Table Topics Impromptu 2012 District Champion. Additionally, he is a member of the National Speakers Association and a member of the Camden Lions Club.

Tom graduated from the University of Delaware in 1990 with a Communication degree, concentrating on interpersonal and organizational communication.

Tom currently lives in Camden with his wife and three daughters.

What was interesting is how much my long-term mood and outlook changed based on who I was working with and spending most of my time with. As I took on more independent roles, I had more choices to decide who I would spend time with. I took less group lunches and started to separate myself from the companions who I felt were adding to the negative environment.

I was also learning to establish new relationships and networks. With my newer relationships, I was less comfortable openly complaining, and found myself not getting caught up in a flow of negative dialogue. I found that as I was meeting more new people, I wanted to spread positive messages. One of those ways was to proactively recognize the work of the people I was spending more time with. When co-workers are across the country, it is nice to have a recognition email waiting for them. I started to also realize that it was becoming easier to compliment the people I was working with locally because spreading a positive message was becoming contagious for me.

I started to surround myself with similar people who sought to see the glass as half full. I still had my moments of doubt and negativity, but the moments were less frequent. That doesn't mean that I stopped providing critical and balanced feedback when appropriate. It just means it was easier to provide constructive feedback when people trusted the source as someone who was looking out for their best interest. In fact, I believe my feedback was more useful since there was more sincerity behind it as opposed to entering a complaint session.

I knew I was making a difference and was being perceived differently when people came out and said, "Your stock is rising." I had such a feeling of satisfaction that someone would outwardly say that to me. I actually heard this more than once from several people I knew believed in me and supported me. I had a trusted group of people who looked out for my best interest and kept me focused on seeing the best in everything.

I found a network of people who saw my strengths and maximized the use of those strengths. I wanted to spend more time with them because I fed off the positive energy. They believed in me and saw a path to success. I thought I was getting more roles that played off my strengths. In reality, this was true, but not to the extent I originally believed. I was not just in positions playing to my strengths—I was working smarter to expand on these strengths, and turning my weaknesses to strengths. For example, in the past, I may not have had the confidence to question something that did not make sense. When I was surrounded by people who encouraged me to ask open-ended clarification questions, I came up the learning curve more quickly, and gained confidence.

In another example, I was sent to a new manager and felt like I had to start over again. As previously mentioned, there were times when I was moved to different roles in my career when I wasn't succeeding. In this case, my new manager said in our first conversation that I was taking over the forty-fifth ranked team in the company. His instructions were simple: "Make them number one." He mentioned that he trusted me and would give me space as long as he saw the team's growth. He was giving me a clean slate. As we continued to work together, he was making me believe in myself again. I was starting to take the right actions to have the team believe in me, too. The team rose to the second-ranked team in the company in less than two months. I was riding their coat tails, while being there to provide support and encouragement. I was proving my new manager right.

You can start to prove people right by finding the motivational factors to not let that someone down or by making the extra effort to show them what you are capable of. In all cases, your own success is facilitated when you surround yourself with good people who support you, people who believe in you, people who encourage you, and people who inspire you. Fend off the negative people who may be nearby, find the uplifting people, and together create your own positive vision by feeding off the positive energy and enthusiasm of others. Then, prove them right.

15. Have Multiple and Diverse Role Models

We work with many people who set the right example. They may not be perfect but there is something about them we want to emulate. Take a careful look at them and see what styles and skills may work for you. Seek out the great things they have that you can grab hold of and add to your own abilities.

When it comes to role models, we sometimes think in singular terms. We pick out the one person we want to be most like and sometimes try to emulate them. This narrows down our own potential and might pigeonhole what we are trying to accomplish. Seek out multiple role models who have a wide variety of skills. A diverse set of role models will open more possibilities for adoption into your own routine and expand your proficiency. As stated in an earlier passage, you want to maintain your own uniqueness and it is important to maintain your differentiating factors. We don't want you looking to be a clone or a wannabe, but we would be leaving an opportunity on the table if we didn't become keen observers to role models around us. We can always find best practices to share and pick up good habits and styles that work for us.

A role model differs from a mentor because there is typically less interaction—or the opposite, constant interaction because you work closely with them. Whether you are monitoring them from up close or afar, you should take note of what makes them successful.

My first real taste in a role model was a peer of mine named John. John was the person who swapped jobs with me when I was told I needed to do something different after my first managerial stint. John was the computer programmer who was looking for a change. I was the manager not cutting it in the eyes of the leadership. Apparently, the timing was perfect. I disliked John for a variety of reasons. First, he was right next door and I saw every move he made. Second, he was a nice guy and people seemed to be having fun and working harder for him than they had for me. I realized my distaste was actually jealousy. I began to watch him from next door with a new lens and began to learn what I had done wrong when I had overseen the team.

Many of the things he was doing to earn the respect of the people came down to managing the details. He was spending individual time with the people and maximizing his floor presence. He was practicing what I now see as fundamental in people management, but was too close—or too inexperienced—to practice when I first started managing. I was learning to study John in action, and it was fascinating. I began to understand that he was an unintentional role model who was teaching me. Watching his success early on was hard for me. As the years went on, I started to do what I had seen him do and began to see my own similar success. I began to make sure that I included this story in all of my mentoring sessions and leadership teaching sessions.

I have since targeted other role models based on my specific needs. The person who first called me a cynic has taught me about accountability, ownership, and leadership. At a social gathering, my wife asked him what he liked about his job. His response was simple and concise. He said, "I like being accountable. I like making decisions." He is a true leader who understands that people depend on his direction and his ability to make decisions, and then act on them. He is also a fantastic leader and communicator who can rally a group of people to go on any difficult mission together. In the worst of times, people turn to him for a clear and motivational message that leaves no question as to which way they should go.

I have a good friend who I met early in my career. He taught me how to be selfless and giving. Additionally, he was the person who looked past all of the negative perceptions others had of me. He took a chance on me when I was young and inexperienced. He took an active approach to listening to my ideas and wanted to know my opinions to make the business better. He trusted me and respected me, even when I still felt people were out to get me. He gave me a sense of confidence that I truly could be a leader.

There are countless other role models who have taught me the value of technical job knowledge and being an industry leader in certain banking fields. There are other leaders who have taught me the value of being straightforward and speaking from the heart. There are still others who inspire me and give me confidence just by watching them.

There is also a small pocket of people you observe, and say to yourself, "I don't want to be like them." This group of people may be just as valuable for your own growth. When I was struggling in a trial position leading a group of managers, I could not seem to communicate well with my boss. I believe this was due to the fear factor he instilled in me. He attempted to drive my performance by yelling and screaming at me in the hopes that this fear would make me do things better. If he had just understood my wants, needs, and expectations, he would have figured out that I would work hard and do the job anyway. He could have put his efforts and wasted energy elsewhere to make the team better.

Instead, there was constant pressure put on me. His favorite routine, or game, seemed to happen every Friday afternoon around five o'clock P.M. He would call me to come see him in his office. Apparently, after a very long week, he wanted to ensure that I had a miserable weekend of fuming over his last instructions or put downs regarding what I hadn't accomplished during the week. I vowed I would never be like him. He became my role model antithesis.

Another role model I worked for was bright and he knew how to dig deep into a business to reduce expenses and increase profits. He also lacked people skills and held on to original opinions for a long time. Once he formulated an opinion of you it was permanent. As I learned the basics of running larger operations from him, I still struggled early in my career in grasping the people-management skills. He was not afraid to make me aware of this shortcoming. The irony was that he could observe poor people skills, but didn't ever see them in himself. When I finally got out from under his management and saw some success managing others, he refused to see any of my growth or acknowledge any of my recent accomplishments. I had an interview with him about five years later for a job overseeing a fairly large unit. He only continued to bring up my failures from those days when I had been inexperienced and directly working for him. He said (paraphrased), "It sounds like you have done some good things, but I can't get past the time when you..." He must have mentioned my past on at least three occasions. In the middle of the interview he said he was hungry and wanted to go to the café to grab a sandwich. I had to have a walking interview while he took care of himself. He lacked the ability to have an open mind or change judgments of me, and still had no self-awareness or was just pompous. After he refused to give me the job in his area, I vowed to never be like that. He was the perfect negative role model. I knew I had to begin to withhold my personal judgments of others, see other people's growth, and be willing to give people second chances.

We have an advantage of seeing what goes on around us each day. Use these observations as a tool for your own development. Watch the people around you with a critical eye, and become aware of the diverse and sheer number of role models surrounding you. They will teach you a lot about who you are and who you can be. In some cases, you will acknowledge characteristics from people you want to emulate, and in other cases, find the characteristics you want to avoid. Be on the lookout for your next teaching moment—your role model may be right there in front of you.

16. Write Down Your Goals...in Pencil

I have heard on more than one occasion that an extremely small number of people have specific written goals—as low as five percent. As another way to differentiate yourself, be among the five percent to lay out your path for success on paper. Whether it is personal, professional, academic, health, or any other aspects of your life, you should write out your goals.

The likelihood of you taking the appropriate actions to achieve the goals goes up exponentially when you have them written. The goals should be specific so you know if and when they have been accomplished. Each goal needs to also be aggressive or it is not worth shooting for. The aggressive goal, however, should not be so far out of reach that it is not attainable. You should set progressive goals so you can see the small wins piling up. You need to understand that you may not achieve one-hundred percent of them—at least on the first try. The idea that you can go back to achieve a missed goal may refine the quality and outcome of what you are trying to accomplish. The fact that they are written allows you to see your progress and creates action plans to attain them.

If you achieve your goals, you should build on those successes and set more goals. These goals should be expandable for future steps. For example, I wanted to progress up through all of the phone positions in my line of business, and then move on to the somewhat natural progression of assistant manager, manager, and beyond. The goal of what I wanted to accomplish was set.

In addition, I set timelines for when I wanted to achieve them. The timeline has always been the hardest part for me. I have always wanted to get to each of the next steps as quickly as possible. There were many hurdles that delayed my ability to achieve my goals and I missed many of my expected timelines.

When establishing timelines, you need to account for potential roadblocks. Not everything will be clearly laid out for you. As previously stated, there were the two times in my career when I was asked to move in the other direction, to lower roles, because leadership didn't feel I was effective or prepared for the additional responsibilities. There were also the times I felt ready to move up but did not interview well. Regardless of the reasons, I needed to reset my goals.

Resetting the goals means many things. It might mean resetting the timeline to the same goal and staying on course. Resetting the goal may mean adjusting the goal metric itself to move in a different direction. This is not always the easiest thing to do, since you may be unfamiliar with the road you are looking down. As stated earlier, pull back on the aggressive time frames, scale, or intensity of your goals, and set the goals in smaller increments. Again, the increments should be realistic and challenging. The key message is to write down your goals and know they will evolve. Goal setting should be dynamic and fluid. More than twenty years after leaving college as a communication major, I had no idea I would have gone through so many aspects of the financial industry. When you write out your goals, I would suggest using a pencil.

Previous chapters:

• Part I-Vision and Mission, Introduction-The Roots of My Transformation

• Part II-The Transformation, Chapter 1-Get a Mentor

• Part II, Chapter 2 - Be a Mentor, and Learn Something Yourself

• Part II, Chapters 3 and 4 - Gain trust and respect; write down your accomplishments

• Part II, Chapters 5, 6, and 7 - Stop and smell the roses; send a note to say thank-you; learn to communicate assertively

• Part II, Chapters 8, 9, and 10 - Winning isn't evertything; 'Wait three months'; stand up for what's right

• Part II, Chapters 11, 12 and 13 - Differentiate yourself; be impatiently patient; prove people wrong