During his inconsistent first 20 years in a business environment, Tom Dowd learned lessons, both positive and negative, which transformed into shared professional success. The experiences guide readers to differentiate themselves and enable them to work smarter—not harder—to thrive in corporate chaos that, due to the current economic conditions, has taught the employed and unemployed alike to simply try to survive.

Following is the next chapter in Dowd's book, The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a cynic to a professional in the corporate world. Earlier chapters are linked at the end.

61. Know the Whole Story

I have had far too many examples of instances when I allowed my emotions—such as frustration—to dictate my mood, my decisions, and my interactions. There have been plenty of times when I needed to practice one of Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and "seek first to understand, then to be understood." You can't reinforce this enough in both the workplace and at home. I thought I would share a personal experience to illustrate how easy the concept is and how conscientious we need to be to practice it.

I have a neighbor of over eighteen years with whom I rarely had any issues. We are not close, but have a cordial relationship. He has been a good and helpful neighbor. He does, however, have a dog that I have often worried about when it was near my kids. Admittedly, the dog has never barked loudly enough to scare me, charged after anyone or anything that would have caused my angst. Instead, I didn't like the look or the breed, and simply had a bad feeling about it.

Late one night, the dog was out in his yard barking loudly. It was atypical and was getting on my nerves. The barking and whining wouldn't stop and went on for many hours. I was tired and cranky, and I couldn't sleep. Yet, I didn't do anything to check on it or fix the problem. It became obvious that my neighbor was not home so in my eyes there was no one to call; I guess it was just easier to stew over the situation and periodically complain to my wife.

After hours of this barking, my wife couldn't stand it any longer and walked across the yard in the dark. The dog was tangled and stuck, and was calling in its own special way for help. Although I had a predisposed nasty and angry attitude about this dog before this event, it was only exasperated as the barking continued. My wife quickly understood the situation, untangled the dog, provided him water, and said he was the sweetest thing. We later found out that another neighbor was supposed to let him out and had forgotten.

I'm sure that there are more professional examples that I could share, but the innocence of an animal made this example stand out. We need to fully understand situations prior to judging and overreacting to them. There are more sides to a story than just our own.

62. Be Yourself—the Paradox

Dress to impress. You are told you are constantly onstage and people are constantly paying attention to you. Your manager is watching your every move. Now, just try to be yourself. We panic and get uptight when our boss's boss asks for something. Thoughts go through our mind, such as, "Will this be good enough for them?", "I need to impress them," and "What do I need to do to get noticed?" When we have senior leaders visit our building, everyone seems to panic. Messages go out to clean up the work areas, and all of a sudden our business-casual dress code goes away and the ties come back out. If the suits and ties aren't on, there are at least blue blazers everywhere.

I used to wonder if I didn't get that last promotion because my shirt was wrinkled that one time. I now can't remember what I wore yesterday, let alone keep track of everyone else. This isn't about how you dress, it is about how you present yourself...everyday. You shouldn't put on an act just because there are special guests. In fact, what message does that send to people who work for you and work with you if you suddenly change? There are higher ranked people out there, so what? The key is to find your personality and be consistent with it. If you like to create a fun-looking environment with decorations all around, why can't your upper management see it? If you made the decision to put it up, why can't it stay up? If you maintain a clean and safe environment all of the time, there shouldn't be a panic the night before someone comes. I learned to rarely fret over my environment because I maintain it on a regular basis and attempt to teach everyone the importance of presenting themselves respectfully everyday, anyway.

I had to learn to stop trying to impress everyone, all the time. I wanted to take care of my manager, take care of my peers, and take care of the people who worked for me. I wanted to be everywhere, all the time, and give everyone what they wanted when they wanted it. I got disappointed in myself if my boss requested changes or offered suggestions. I took it personally because they were not impressed with my work. I found I tensed up during presentations, used words that were not natural to me, and tended to be over the top in making the effort to ensure that I was noticed.

When we were in the midst of our company being bought out, I had a choice to work harder and impress more people, or just do my job to the best of my ability. I was concerned about the unknown, but had confidence in my own ability. I found that the stress of this transition brought out personalities I had never seen before. I saw selfishness in some people who wanted all of the glory, I saw people give up, and I saw people who I thought had loyalty to the company turn their heads. It was an interesting time for everyone. However, the ones who impressed me the most were the ones who never changed along the way. I learned a valuable lesson about the importance of being myself. What did I have to worry about? I was comfortable in my own skin and my confidence had been growing. I was always commended for my hard work, so what needed to change? I had feedback given to me on how to improve, and the only challenge I now had was how to implement the feedback and still be myself. I began to understand how I could do that.

Tom has more than 20 years of experience in the financial industry in management and leadership roles, and runs his own business, Thomas Dowd Professional Development & Coaching, as a speaker, author, trainer and coach. Tom developed a series of management presentations into a speaking program called "Powerful Professional Transformation: Unleashing Leadership." The speaking engagements turned into "The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World," a book detailing Tom's own professional growth based on lessons learned in his career. "Transformation" received honorable mention in the business category at the 2012 New England Book Festival. Tom has since written his second book "From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide."

Tom is currently the vice president of education for Dirigo Toastmasters Club in Belfast. Toastmasters International is a supportive learning environment of more than 270,000 members worldwide looking to improve communication and leadership skills. As a founding member of the club, Tom has been involved in Toastmasters since September 2008. Tom holds advanced communication and advanced leadership certifications with Toastmasters International, including High Performance Leadership certification. In November 2011, Tom was selected as the District 45 Toastmaster of Year, which represents more than 100 clubs in the states of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire and the three Eastern Canadian Provinces of Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Tom has also exhibited consistent success when competing at the division (state level equivalent) and district levels in Toastmasters speech contests, which include humorous, inspirational, impromptu and evaluation events. He was the Table Topics Impromptu 2012 District Champion. Additionally, he is a member of the National Speakers Association and a member of the Camden Lions Club.

Tom graduated from the University of Delaware in 1990 with a Communication degree, concentrating on interpersonal and organizational communication.

Tom currently lives in Camden with his wife and three daughters.

I can't tell you how much more satisfied and content I was with my job and the company when I let down my guard enough to be Tom Dowd. I was not Tom Dowd the Banker, or Tom Dowd the Manager, or Tom Dowd (place label here). I was starting to be more engaging and had more personal conversations to get to know people. It wasn't wasting time like I had always thought in the past. I could carry a conversation and I could also balance it with my business needs. I was relating to people, because they were starting to relate to me.

I could attend my child's play, concert, or game on my own terms because I wanted to be there, because I was being myself, knowing that the job would get done. I was building a stronger bond with the people I worked for and worked with, because they knew exactly what they were getting with me. I had the confidence to know what needed to be done at work and when it had to be done. If there was a conflict, I used my strong relationships to talk to my manager about it. I would instill in them enough confidence to know the job would get done, whether it was by delegating or working different hours. That's not trying to impress, that's just getting your job done the right way.

I have never whipped my cell phone out to look busy in the hall, and have never intentionally sent emails at all hours of the night to impress someone. I have also never been accused of not getting my job done on time and I am always cited as doing it with the utmost quality. There is a balance to what I do now. I ensure that I am conscious of my work quality from the beginning and I don't have to panic at the last minute. Work hard. Work smart. Success will take care of itself if you work in the right company and for the right people. If you work in a place where you are constantly on guard, ask yourself, "Is this the right culture for me? Can I be myself?"

63. Treat Each Day Like an Interview — Another Paradox

In one breath I tell you that you should be yourself; work hard, and things will take care of themselves. In the second breath, I will tell you that every day is an interview. Isn't that contradictory? A good friend of mine, who has years of Human Resource experience, once told me that a job interview is like a first date. You're about to see someone's supposed best and everything he or she has to give. I had an interview recently where the person was a couple minutes late for our discussion. He had no specific reason, and he didn't know a lot about the job. He even mentioned that he was hoping I could tell him about it. He didn't ask for clarity about the role or more details about the job, he wanted me to tell him about the job he applied for. Although some of his answers were decent, and I saw some growth potential, I walked away from what I will describe as an average interview. As much as I wanted to take a chance on him, I also wanted him to put a little more individual effort into what could have been a career-changing moment. If this was his best for our "first date," I should have concerns about what he can do for my team in the future.

The person interviewing, like on a first date, typically will be dressed well (or should be), prepared (or should be), and ready to give you his or her 'A' game. As the person making a hiring decision during an average interview, we sometimes want to justify the candidate's efforts, and hire him anyway. We either have a hiring goal we need to achieve, see something between the lines, or just want to give someone a break. All are legitimate reasons to make a thoughtful decision. As you are making this thoughtful decision, the question needs to be asked of yourself, "You just saw his or her best. Does it go downhill from here?" I have found too many examples of instances when the decision that average was good enough went badly. The person was not a good fit for the company or job. He or she should have given you his or her 'A' game, but we accepted their 'B' or 'C' game, thus setting the expectations and bar lower right off the bat. It may well go downhill from there.

Once you are in the company, the interview process doesn't stop. Your 'A' game shouldn't go away just because you entered the building as an official employee. I know that brand new cars instantly lose their value as soon as you drive it off the lot, but you are not a new car. Your value should grow as you enter the building—every day. Every day you should strive to raise your game. There will be bad days, but you should make an effort to minimize those bad days and strive to add value to the company each day. This includes interactions with people you work with, work for, and the people who work for you. Don't let your guard down and coast for a day. It only starts you down a path of building bad habits.

For example, have you ever been caught off guard when someone started to use profanity because "it's just the two of you." Have you ever been involved in rumor-mill chatter, or bad mouthing a colleague? How about a casual conversation in the hall that turns into a confidential dialogue? You need to realize that you are constantly being watched, listened to, and judged by people at all levels and your reputation is constantly being evaluated.

If someone witnesses your 'B' or 'C' game, it may leave a lasting impression for a while. Every interaction can be viewed as an interview. It doesn't mean you can't have casual or confidential interactions with others; it means be conscious of your actions and words. Every interaction can be a lasting one; make it a good one. Seek to maintain the reputation you want—the reputation that you are making a top notch effort every day. I am also not encouraging you to be uppity, snobbish, or to act better than anyone else out there. I am, however, saying that we should all set an example for others to emulate. Be a role model. Being your natural self should include all of this.

So, is the message to be constantly on guard and never have fun? No. Regardless of whether you are a company leader, an emerging leader, or someone who just wants to be respected in the workplace, you should competently be aware of your surroundings and actions. You should make the effort to be in control of your actions and understand the impression you are leaving on others. This includes being fun. If you create a professional and fun environment where employees work hard and are rewarded for their efforts, people will take notice and respond. They will make their own effort to be professional, want to have fun, and work hard because they see you doing it. If their leaders are doing it, then it must be all right for them.

Be yourself and bring your 'A' game each day; be aware that you are a potential role model and you can take the lead to set the tone. You may even get noticed by other decision makers who think you would be a great fit in their shop because they are impressed with you, ironically, for what you may consider an everyday event. Treat each day like an interview—it will pay off.

64. Be a Teacher—You Will Learn More

I have known many people in the teaching profession who have dedicated their daily lives to teaching children. I often hear how gratifying and rewarding it is to them as individuals. There is also a humbling pride I have witnessed in many school teachers as they watch "their" children grow throughout the school year.

I remember the first time I was asked at school in the fourth grade what I wanted to be when I grew up. Possibly out of panic or the unknown, I said I wanted to be a teacher. Being a school teacher wasn't in my future. I have found I don't have the necessary patience. I have observed teachers—including my wife, who is a teacher by profession—who have shown more patience then I could ever dream of.

I may not have met my fourth grade goal of becoming a teacher, but I have found myself teaching throughout my professional years. I have gone from teaching cold hard facts, to teaching technical aspects of a given job, to investing my time in teaching people how to increase their confidence and improve themselves. I have presented to groups of people, mentored one-on-one, and managed teams of all sizes. I have taught new hires, new managers, tenured employees, and tenured managers over the years. I guess I too have witnessed firsthand the humbling pride of watching others grow.

Watching people learn a new business and better themselves is powerful. However, this feeling of pride is overpowered by the amount of learning I find myself doing whenever I am in teaching mode. I have begun to pick up on the common teachings of patience and humility myself. There are so many things to learn as a teacher of others. I have learned that I could be a better listener and ensure that there are two-way discussions, even in a classroom setting. I have room to improve my style, my delivery, and my preparation. I have learned that I do not know everything, and sharing what I do know is intoxicating. I have learned that as a teaching mentor, I can make a difference one person at a time.

I constantly learn from attendees in the classroom setting. I see an eagerness to learn and a thirst to share ideas. I have learned that there is no single best way to do something and that people learn at different speeds. I have learned through the years that people learn in different ways: some like books, some learn visually, and different generations learn differently. I have learned that I need to vary my approach to be more flexible and plan for the unexpected.

One of my biggest lessons is the recognition that I had things to teach. I already knew I had business skills to teach that increased people's technical acumen. However, I found that I had a story to tell, and there were people who wanted to listen. We all have our own background and stories that can be shared. I found that my job satisfaction and success increased when I shared my own lessons learned and best practices.

I found there is an audience to teach. It can be an audience of one or an audience of one hundred. There is an active and willing group of people who are willing to take the steps to be better, learn from one another's wisdom, and get the nuggets of information necessary to strengthen their resolve and confidence—so that they, in turn, can eventually become the teacher. It is a constant and progressive process.

I have found no better learning experience than humbly standing in front of a group of people who want to be there. Whenever possible, seek opportunities in your professional world to be the teacher. Teach someone something—anything—and you will invariably be the student. Your thirst to share will pay off in more knowledge for you to absorb. This ensures a perpetual cycle of teaching and learning.

65. Value People

When I was in a position to support my business, I was responsible for keeping the day-to-day components running smoothly. I found I had a group of go-to people I constantly needed for assistance. There was one person in particular who worked in technology that I found I was constantly calling to fix something. His sense of urgency and my sense of urgency were quite different. I had the constant need to ride him and follow up to get things done. I would stay on him, and he would quietly get to my requests in his own sweet time.

On one occasion, I really felt that my request needed to be prioritized— although everything seemed urgent to me. He gave me the same response that he gave me every other time: I would wait in line with the other requests and he would get to it. I felt the need to sit down with him this time and explain that I really needed him to get to my request now. We sat together for an extended period for the first time ever. It was not just a quick phone call or email request—we had a real conversation. I explained my reasoning and rationale, which differed from past terse requests, "I need it done now." I hoped in doing this that he would come to understand why my request differed in priority from the other requests he had in his queue. He seemed to understand, and we were able to work out a decent agreement that worked for both of us. I let him know how much I appreciated him jumping on it, and thanked him for the past work he had done for me. I clearly let him know that the work he had done in the past was done with high quality and he should be proud of it. I was not doing this because I just got what I wanted. I was doing this because I felt we finally connected and he deserved to hear it.

Although he was taken aback to begin with, he saw the budding relationship as well and graciously accepted the compliment. He also thought it was a good time to provide me with some honesty of his own. He matter-of-factly said, "You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar." I had heard this proverb before, but never directed specifically at me, but I got the point quickly.

Our relationship continued to grow over time. He continued to increase his sense of urgency, when it made sense, and I started to get more requests done without follow-up. He would move my requests up the queue with a wink, at times. Although this lesson isn't about being someone's favorite, it didn't hurt. In reality, he wasn't working faster, showing more urgency, or even any favoritism, he just wasn't intentionally delaying my requests any longer. I had deserved the delays before because I was not respecting the value of the work he did. It also took an event in which I really needed something badly to force me to tell someone he'd done a great job. Sometimes, people just need to feel valued and appreciated. As a peer or a manager, we should appreciate the whole value of what someone is offering, not just a single event. Don't wait for a particular moment to give a simple compliment and provide recognition.

66. Revisit the Things That Made You Better and Stronger

Go back and revisit all of the things that inspired you, taught you, and motivated you. Go back and read your collection of leadership books, self-help books, watch your DVDs, or anything else from which you felt you received a strong message that made a difference in your development. Find your old notes from mentor sessions, or interesting technical reading about your industry, or anything that interests you. Dust off old performance appraisals and make sure you have implemented the feedback. What you choose to go back to is not as relevant as reinvesting the time to reinforce past teachings. I personally dedicate at least an hour a week to reference past material and review information I may have forgotten. I'm sure we have all heard the phrase from someone who has been around the block for a while, "I've forgotten more than someone else knows." Don't let that happen to you.

You are a constant evolving, learning creature. Some of the revisited material may seem brand new, while others may simply be viewed from a new and wiser perspective. Keep the learning alive for a better professional and personal future. Most of us are surrounded with learning materials that are right at our fingertips. Be wise and use them.

I have written many times about investing time with mentors and supporters, and surrounding yourself with great teammates. However, only you can take the final step to transform your professional life. I am grateful for everyone who has provided me enough guidance to inspire me to make the choices I have. I believe everyone has a choice to transform their life. I know, because I have. I, the cynic, did not believe in myself—or many others, for that matter—early in my career. The twists and turns of my professional life put me on a path to build my self-confidence and self-awareness. I am the same person, but with a brand new outlook and the confidence that I can make a difference in my life and the lives of many others. I can make a difference in my professional career. I can make my business better. I can share my experiences so others can prosper. I have finally learned to take a step back and invest for countless steps forward.

Much of what you have read in this book seems obvious. I like to be the king of the obvious sometimes, because if it was so obvious, then why did it take me so long to grasp hold of much of it? My years of interaction with professionals has proven that we are creatures of habit, and need a little tweaking to find the good habits that make us better. Keep going back to the basics that have proven to work and you can't go wrong. Pick out the ones that work for you. Keep learning from the past and strengthening the future, but stick with the basics.

Previous chapters:

• Part I-Vision and Mission, Introduction-The Roots of My Transformation
• Part II-The Transformation, Chapter 1-Get a Mentor
• Part II, Chapter 2 - Be a Mentor, and Learn Something Yourself
• Part II, Chapters 3 and 4 - Gain trust and respect; write down your accomplishments
• Part II, Chapters 5, 6, and 7 - Stop and smell the roses; send a note to say thank-you; learn to communicate assertively
• Part II, Chapters 8, 9, and 10 - Winning isn't evertything; 'Wait three months'; stand up for what's right
• Part II, Chapters 11, 12 and 13 - Differentiate yourself; be impatiently patient; prove people wrong
• Part II, Chapters 14, 15 and 16 - Prove people right, have diverse role models, write down your goals
• Part II, Chapters 17, 18 and 19 - Control what you can control; show compassion; set an example
• Part II, Chapters 20, 21 and 22 - Do something with book recommendations; live in the present, work smarter, not harder
• Part II, Chapters 23, 24, 25 and 26 - Let your music out; open the gift of feedback; step away and clear your head; be aware that 'nobody is not trying'
• Part II, Chapters 27, 28, 29 and 30 - Don't let people leave their manager or the company; be flexible and adaptable; have the right priorities and set the right priorities; build a network
• Part II, Chapters 31, 32, 33 and 34 - Lead the parade; be sensitive to multiple generations in the workplace; control self-imposed pressures, play music in the background
• Part II, Chapters 35, 36, 37 and 38 - Know your value proposition; build credibility and success through effective communication; understand communication preferences, know what the written word says about you
• Part II, Chapters 39, 40, 41 and 42 - Learn the value of effective verbal communication; take action-hope won't win the game without a game plan; learn to manage up-down- and around; laugh at work-laugh with others.
• Part II, Chapters 43, 44, 45 and 46 - Build, maintain a strong resume; manage your time-don't let it manage you (Parts I, II, III)
• Part II, Chapters 47, 48, 29 and 50 - Don't try to boil the ocean; be responsible with the power of position; know when to let go, move on; send your message and watch it grow
• Part II, Chapters 51, 52, 53, 54 and 55 - Become a good listener; be the bigger person; surround yourself with pictures; get to know the people you work with; belance being a leader and a doer
• Part II, Chapters 56, 57, 58, 59 and 60 - Give people second chances; do stuff you love; share best practices; take time for yourself-you deserve it; get involved at work, school and life-it's contagious