The papers are full of articles these days of sexual predators on the prowl for your children.  They no longer have to lurk behind trees in city parks or lure kids with candy into their cars.  They have instant access using the cell phone. Often disguised as a younger person and creating a fake persona, they are professionals in an ever growing creepy world.  Facebook is an app of choice, and there are others, such as Skout.com, an app that links people of link minded interest who are, for that moment, geographically close.  And, there are others.  Do you know them?

The predator is good at what he does. He connects, grooms his victim by giving positive comments, acts interested in what they do for fun, indicates they are much the same, start texting, becoming more and more personal in nature, suggests a face to face meeting, offers things such as dinner, drinks, travel, escape, and sexuality.  The anonymity of the contact, the seductive nature of his or her style, knowing the easy target points for younger children are just some of the tools these people use.  Yes, often they are men, but not always, and as pedophiles, they may like girls as well as boys. 

Cellphones are often seen as the one reliable safety net for kids when not in the presence of mom or dad.   And, though the provide a convenient, immediate way to connect, they are anything but safe.   Most cell phones are linked to the web and kids are curious, and drawn to reach out.  Once they post on one of the more common social networking apps, they are now vulnerable. 

So, what can a parent do?   Well, though you won’t be popular with your kids, you can give them a cellphone that is not connected to the web.  But, most kids will win that battle.  Now what? 

First, be open about the fact that there are predators waiting for them. Talk about the real danger.  Then, it is important to create a contract, a covenant with your child that they can’t post pictures without your approval.  They should not sign up for Facebook without giving you total access to their account. They must be encouraged to share texts or emails from people asking for intimate information, pictures or want to meet your child.  You must let kids know that you are giving permission to use a cellphone, but you have the right to monitor it at all times. 

Ask questions. Do people contact you whom you don’t know? Do you ever get requests to share sexy pictures. Do you get pictures or texts from people wanting to know about your private life, etc.  Opening the door to these types of honest exchanges will make all the difference to your young children.  I would also recommend that the cellphone becomes your property when you go to bed at night. That is the time research shows is the time of greatest danger.

If you have concerns about a particular text, there is a website to report your suspicions, www.cypertipline.com.  Or mymobilewatchdog.com is a tool that allows you, as a parent, to monitor to whom your child is talking. You can also talk directly to your service provider and ask to be shown how to put media monitoring filters to prevent your child from accessing undesirable or forbidden websites. 

Parents should carefully scrutinize the monthly bill and search for text or cell numbers that come often and late at night.    There is also a new service: Radar by E-agency Systems.  Here is how Radar works: Parents go to a website where they enter all of the acceptable telephone numbers, email and instant messaging addresses that their child can call or from which he can receive calls. If a child receives a call, text message or email from an unauthorized number, the parents are alerted via their cell phones.

The Radar service also allows parents to log onto a website and view detailed reports about their child's cellphone usage. Yes, it may seem big brotherish, but this is your child’s safety you are monitoring.   Be more than curious, be paranoid.  Your child will claim you are invading their privacy, but you probably have no real interest in their day to day chats with other kids. You know what you are looking for. 

Can it happen in our towns? Folks, it happens every day.  You can stop it.

William Shuttleworth returns from a writing sabbatical. He is superintendent of four small school districts, a father of three, grandfather of four and can be reached at wshuttleworth@hotmail.com

More columns by William C. Shuttleworth