During his inconsistent first 20 years in a business environment, Tom Dowd learned lessons, both positive and negative, which transformed into shared professional success. The experiences guide readers to differentiate themselves and enable them to work smarter—not harder—to thrive in corporate chaos that, due to the current economic conditions, has taught the employed and unemployed alike to simply try to survive.

Following is the next chapter in Dowd's book, The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a cynic to a professional in the corporate world. Earlier chapters are linked at the end.

56. Give People Second Chances

I always seemed to wind up working for people who looked out for me and were willing to give me second chances. Even as I griped about my managers and blamed them for many of my downfalls, I was still asked to go with them as they changed jobs within my company. In a corporation employing thousands of people, I had many years in which I seemed to work for people willing to give me second chances at a time in my career when I thought I was making too many mistakes. I thought, at times, that they were protecting me. What I found was that these special managers were not protecting me—they were willing to give me a second chance because they knew my strengths better than I did. Over the years, as I gained confidence and learned more about the business on my own, they saw my maturity even before I did. The people who gave me a second chance knew I would give everything I had for the business, and knew I was learning from my mistakes. Additionally, I was learning to own up to my mistakes and was making it an active practice to teach others by sharing what I had learned from my lessons.

In one of my first positions managing managers, I was new and naïve to the role. I was previously a micromanager and I had stayed steadfast to personnel policies. When I should have been a level higher than where I was in order to manage managers, I was really a glorified version of a manager because I knew the technicalities of the business but did not understand how to manage it.

My manager invested his time with me, as I was new to the role. He had a certain tone he used when I made mistakes, but sought to make them teaching opportunities. I still couldn't break out of the glorified manager mentality, even though I was supposed to be a level higher. Mistakes were made, and we both felt I was not coming up the learning curve quickly enough. However, he made the effort to make me better and gave me opportunities even though I was convinced I had not reached his expectations. When he left the department, I appreciated his time and dedication, and told him I would continue to make the effort to improve.

I was a little surprised when I got a call to join him in his new department. I had previously worked in that department and could bring my job knowledge. But why would he want me when he knew exactly what I was—and was not— capable of? I'm now convinced that that was why he made the call to me. He knew exactly what I could and could not do, and he still saw the potential.

I thought then that I was still too naïve to truly lead the department, since I needed to develop my own confidence level. I began to think that I was being harder on myself about being perfect than I needed to be, but I still lacked confidence. I was surrounded by tenured peers who I let take control of meetings and drive the conversations. My confidence was not growing, but my frustration was.

If you recall from the "Set an Example" chapter, we had an annual event that was supposed to be fun, I did not engage in the event as much as I should have. My avoidance of the event, which was supposed to include tasteful practical jokes, only caused more unwanted attention directed my way. As a result, I became an unwilling target. I felt an obligation to defend myself and my team and went on the offensive halfway through the month, after giving in to the pressure to participate. My team and I devised some creative practical jokes that walked a fine line of professionalism and ultimately landed me in hot water with Human Resources. I pushed the limits out of frustration rather than simply playing along from the beginning.

Whatever frustrations I had with the event remained bottled up until my manager had to sit me down and explain his concerns about my actions. I let it all out, including my disdain for the event, my growing disrespect for my peers, and the fact that I felt forced into doing things I was not comfortable with. I came to the realization that I was the only one accountable to make the decision to do what I had done. I didn't think through the unintended consequences and the impact I would have on my team and my peers. I vented and he listened, then we had a phenomenal conversation. The conversation was straightforward and should have occurred prior to allowing the frustration to build up.

As much as I was embarrassed that we had to have the HR discussion, I needed it. I maintained my job with a solid slap on the wrist, and learned some lessons. However, I was not convinced that I would ever work for this person again, since it was a pretty big mistake in my eyes relating to people management.

As is the nature of our business, he moved on to another department. I received another call six months later. He wanted me to work for him again in a department that was full of newer managers. I jumped at the chance because I wanted to prove myself to him, and I saw an opportunity to teach all of my new peers to avoid my past mistakes relating to people management. I saw my chance to give back and be the leader I wanted to be. For three months, I was able to accomplish this and a lot more. I felt like I had made a name for myself in this new department and that I was there making a difference. I was asking questions and driving the business. My questions landed me in a three-month task force that lasted for over two years. Guess who joined me after I left his department, two days later? You guessed it—he moved to my new department as my manager, again. He apparently had had some inkling as to his next move and wanted me to be there with him. He knew exactly what he was getting, and he seemed pretty happy to know who had his back.

Through my career, I've sometimes perceived that I've been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and sometimes I've felt that I've been in the right place at the right time. I was learning to go with the flow and learn from my mistakes. I also learned to give second chances. As a perfectionist, I know that no one, including myself, is perfect. We can all strive to do our best. I have always been appreciative of people willing to give me tough feedback, even when I didn't think I wanted to hear it. I became a manager known for openly sharing my mistakes to help others. In fact, a few times when I thought my people were holding back out of fear of making mistakes, I started a regular event in our weekly staff meetings to share our "MOW: Mistake of the Week." We shared what we had learned through the week and found that we all made mistakes. We were willing to take calculated risks, work together as a team, and be more creative. I now actively recruit people I know have made mistakes, who are willing to own them and learn from them. I have found that giving people second chances only strengthens the team and the individual's efforts.

Tom has more than 20 years of experience in the financial industry in management and leadership roles, and runs his own business, Thomas Dowd Professional Development & Coaching, as a speaker, author, trainer and coach. Tom developed a series of management presentations into a speaking program called "Powerful Professional Transformation: Unleashing Leadership." The speaking engagements turned into "The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World," a book detailing Tom's own professional growth based on lessons learned in his career. "Transformation" received honorable mention in the business category at the 2012 New England Book Festival. Tom has since written his second book "From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide."

Tom is currently the vice president of education for Dirigo Toastmasters Club in Belfast. Toastmasters International is a supportive learning environment of more than 270,000 members worldwide looking to improve communication and leadership skills. As a founding member of the club, Tom has been involved in Toastmasters since September 2008. Tom holds advanced communication and advanced leadership certifications with Toastmasters International, including High Performance Leadership certification. In November 2011, Tom was selected as the District 45 Toastmaster of Year, which represents more than 100 clubs in the states of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire and the three Eastern Canadian Provinces of Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Tom has also exhibited consistent success when competing at the division (state level equivalent) and district levels in Toastmasters speech contests, which include humorous, inspirational, impromptu and evaluation events. He was the Table Topics Impromptu 2012 District Champion. Additionally, he is a member of the National Speakers Association and a member of the Camden Lions Club.

Tom graduated from the University of Delaware in 1990 with a Communication degree, concentrating on interpersonal and organizational communication.

Tom currently lives in Camden with his wife and three daughters.

57. Do Stuff You Love

There are two thought processes when it comes to career movement and development within a corporation. First, you should become an expert in your field and hone your trade so you are the go-to person. Businesses are in need of in-depth expertise—specialists. If a business is in constant flux with transitioning people from place to place, there will be instability and constant learning curves that may be steep. The second opinion is one in which you are in a constant learning mode and moving from one place or another. If your company is large enough, you have the opportunity to move throughout the organization to broaden your depth of knowledge—generalists. This thought process is about bringing your expertise with you from the past areas to come up with creative and fresh ideas for your new area. I averaged about eighteen months per position prior to eventually moving on. There have been very few times when I said I had learned everything I ever needed to know where I was, and there are fewer times when I could say that there was nothing to learn or share in the new position.

Businesses need both types of leaders—specialists and generalists—in their organization. Companies need people who know the business intimately and people who have a broad base across multiple aspects of the business to give it perspective. The decision within a corporate culture about moving or staying is up to company expectations, and as importantly, it is up to what the individual wants. Personally, I seem to thrive as a generalist, but that has been a choice. I have rarely been bored in any of my roles, but I find I also get an itch to continue to learn different pieces of the business. Even when I went back to previous departments, I was typically in a new role and the business had changed significantly. I moved with my family multiple times as a child to many states because of my dad's job. I guess moving around so many times growing up made it seem natural to be in a constant state of change with new positions. I was flexible and eager for all new challenges.

What is important is that you love what you do and do stuff you love. Whether you are doing many different things or the same thing each day, you should love it. There will be bad days, frustrating days, and days you may think will never end. However, regardless of what your motivation is to go to work every day, can you find something about your job you like? Whether you like the challenge of finding solutions to problems or enjoy the people you work with, there needs to be some piece of what you do that you love. I love the different learning experiences. I love the challenge of fixing problems. I enjoy the people I work with (most of the time). I love that I was never pigeon-holed into one spot.

I wouldn't want anyone to regret never trying something different career-wise after doing the same thing and going to the same desk for twenty-plus years. I have talked to too many people who want to try new and different things—they need variety. As someone who studied people retention, and just being an observer of those around me, there are some employees who are miserable where they are and need a change. With the understanding that some people are just hanging onto their jobs for a paycheck, and the economy may dictate openings in a field, if you have the chance to choose, take advantage of it. Let me make it clear that people always have a choice to leave. There may be some timing constraints, or other mitigating factors that hold you back, but there shouldn't be twenty years when you didn't have some type of opportunity to grow or make a decision to move on. You have choices to make the job something you love or to move into something else that you will love.

As an employee you should be proactive in finding out about the overall business and understand what gets your interests and juices flowing. If you look around and find that what you are doing is still great, guess what—you found something you love. If you find other places where you feel you can make a difference or want to learn about that aspect of the business, approach someone. Let people know what your interests are. I never went to school to be a banker. In fact, I did what I could to avoid numbers. I've had positions where I was a business analyst, where I managed reporting and incentives, oversaw certain aspects of the budget, and used all of my skills. I am a banker now and have no plans to leave banking. I am fascinated everyday about how much there is to banking, whether it is credit cards, ATM and debit cards, mortgage, financing, savings, checking, and investments. I love what I do. When I didn't love what I was doing at any given time, after I gave it ample time to fully grasp my satisfaction level, I pursued other things. I often joke with my managers that I can't keep a job. I'm not sure if people are kicking me out or if I am a wanted person. In either case, I have typically landed on my feet in a place where I made a difference; in a place I loved to work.

58. Share Best Practices

I once managed a team of about fifteen people who were situated next to another team about the same size. We were starting up a new business on site. It was exciting times and we recruited and hired the best and the brightest people. My peer on the other team and I made the unspoken decision to not share our ideas or best practices with each other. We were both stubborn and competitive, and we were most likely hoarding our knowledge and team ideas to help ourselves look better in the eyes of our manager in the hopes of advancing ourselves. I guess this was an effort to step on each other on the way up the corporate ladder.

We sat in the same staff meetings and were often eager to share our team successes with our manager, but we never sat down together, just the two of us, to share ideas that made our new department successful. We knew one another's team statistics and rankings as much as our own team's results. However, we never did anything together to build cohesion among the overall group, including mutual meetings or team events unless specifically directed by our manager.

When the focus group feedback came in, it was miserable for both of us. We were perceived as non-team players and our rationale was shrouded in mystery as to why we made such an effort to separate the teams. The focus group desperately wanted team events, even as simple as food days. They couldn't figure out why we seemed to get along with each other but held back on creating an environment in which everyone wanted to work together. What was interesting was that we enjoyed each other's company, but allowed the passive-aggressive competitiveness to get the best of us when we were working together.

The employees were confused, the teams suffered, and the new business suffered from our poor leadership. Neither one of us found the fast track up that corporate ladder we so desperately fought each other over. Competition is a great motivator when used correctly, and can be used to sustain performance. Two managers lacking the ability to build cohesion who negatively impact motivation do not create the most conducive environment to share best practices, or inspire people to perform.

The focus group feedback threw the cold water on our faces we both deserved. The next steps were easy. We invested time together on a routine basis, and made it obvious to everyone that we were on the same team. We shared our focus group feedback details and the actions we were planning to do to fix the issues. The manager was impressed. The teams came together. We had more ideas generated from the combined effort. The competition didn't go away, but it was more targeted and more fun. We began to set the bar even higher when we competed against other regions doing the same job function, and set the tone and performance bar for the company. We both learned a valuable lesson that two (or more) heads are much better than one. We continued to work together and saw the value of our efforts once we realized that there was plenty of room for both of us to advance. If that wasn't the case, then it would be because the best person earned it. We knew that each of us were now considered a great team player and others would see our value soon enough.

Years later, we both continued with our successful careers, both still learning all the way. We crossed paths often, and when we didn't, we called each other periodically to ask questions and share information. In fact, we met recently and discussed ideas about a new role that he was interested in. He ended up getting an executive position, and I was very proud of him. Best practices strengthen the core of the team, ensure the competency of everyone around you, and assist in building the capabilities of an ever-changing business model.

This book is my concerted effort to share many best practices I have picked up over the years. Most are not original, or even earth-shattering creative ideas. I have learned that I do not have to be the creator of the idea; I just need to be the one to move it forward and pass it on. Even when giving proper credit to the creator, I am often thanked for taking the time to share with others. Be a team player and don't let individual goals or the wrong motivation drive the wrong behavior. You may find short term gains by withholding information, but it will eventually hurt you individually, and it is not good for the overall business. This doesn't mean "nice guys finish last". It does means that you can get there together. There is enough space on the podium for those who share their ideas.

59. Take Time for Yourself—You Deserve It

We say we need to work hard, work smart, do more with less, and burn the midnight oil. It is physically and mentally not feasible to keep doing it over and over without some type of break. Remember when the idea was for all the new technology—such as mobile devices and the Internet—to make our jobs easier and allow us to spend more time with friends and family? It turns out that the new technology adds to our ability to constantly connect with work. Besides the fact that cell phones have somehow created a new breed of louder talkers in airports, it has also allowed work to creep into our personal lives and blur the line between personal and professional time.

We all want to do well, possibly advance, and get confirmation from our boss that we are doing well. Some people like to send emails with a late night timestamp to create the question, "What were you doing working at midnight?" However, burning the midnight oil will cause burn out. Our jobs are important. So are family and friends. Don't forget that.

We all deserve a break from work. In the short term, do something for yourself, like walking away from the desk. Grab lunch, clear your head, and get a little breather. In the long term, take the vacation you have earned and enjoy it without checking in to the office. You should spend time with your friends and family to unwind. When I talk about unwinding, I mean turning off all connections to the office. Believe it or not, the business will run without you. Although there is no such thing as eight to five anymore, you have to recharge. It is good for you and it is good for the business. If you have established the right relationship with your boss and set the right expectations for your team, you might even gain more respect as your team shows off what you have taught them.

You don't want to say later in life, "I wish I didn't miss that event with my kids." I feel like I did early in my career. I have gone back and thought about the things I missed. I have had difficulty trying to remember why I wasn't there. Was it a "critical" meeting? Most times, I can't remember. When I do the opposite and remember the kid's events I have attended, I can't remember what I missed at work. It tells you something. The business will run without me, whether I truly believe it or not. In fact, if I do my job well, it should run smoothly without me. I have built up enough trust in the people doing the job in my absence. I will cover for them when they are out, and we both get the ability to recharge our batteries. For those people who think they are the only ones who can do their job, most times they are wrong. Hoarding responsibility only creates stress for those depending on you and creates stress for you as the sole owner. When you leave for what you may call a vacation, it probably isn't as relaxing as you want it to be. If you leave the impression that you not being in the office will leave huge holes if you can't be contacted, you are creating a potentially harmful dependency. Creating this type of dependency is not good for anyone. You have to make a concerted effort to create independency for your sanity.

Give in to the fact that you work hard (and smart), and you will take the time to enjoy it. None of your family and friends needs to watch you continuously on your cell phone while you should be with them, and you are most likely not engaged in whatever is happening anyway. The point of time away from work is to enjoy yourself, the people around you, and to relax—you deserve it.

60. Get Involved at Work, at School, or at Life and Find Out How Contagious It Is

I have to admit that I participated in the obligatory walk-a-thons, bowl-a-thons, and everything-else-a-thons because I was asked—or told in some cases—to attend. I worked for a company that encouraged involvement in the community and helping others, almost to a fault. I felt forced, at times, to participate. Many times, I just went through the motions. I donated money to causes and donated my time based on whichever path the company took me. My heart was not in it early in my career because, selfishly, I did not see what was in it for me. I saw many smiling faces from appreciative people and saw large amounts of money raised to help special causes. However, I could not see, yet, what I got out of those events.

After I got married, I watched my incredible wife selflessly give up her time and effort to help out children, neighbors, communities, and schools. All were done unconditionally and with an admirable eagerness. I, again selfishly, did not appreciate her efforts all the time and found myself getting upset when she would invest significant amounts of her time to a cause I did not truly understand. I had yet to identify with the contagious nature of voluntarily getting involved. I mean getting involved not because I was told I should, but because others needed the helping hand and it was the right thing to do.

We have a company dedicated to helping developmentally challenged individuals right across the street from my house. I slowly started to understand the meaning of some of the smiles on my neighbors' faces when my wife spent a lot of her time helping to raise money for their facilities. They, in turn, went through a daily ritual to feed my dog biscuits. It was comical and hit a chord with me. My message here is to not necessarily find the one cause and dedicate all of your time (although this is a great option). The message is to find a place in your heart where the unconditional aspects of your involvement come flooding out.

My first real taste of pure enjoyment in volunteering came when I was asked to participate in a small town group of people interested in bringing the sport of lacrosse to our community. I had played in high school in Pennsylvania at a time when there were approximately twenty teams playing in the entire state. My high school coach learned the game from clinics and from a book he carried in his back pocket. He dedicated his time to teaching us something we all grew to love. We weren't very good, but we became a team of great friends, learned about sportsmanship, and were able to give a virtually unknown local sport a little attention.

The new volunteer group created a nonprofit organization, received donated equipment, and held clinics for young kids. I had a blast for the year of my involvement. When I taught the younger kids how to play, I saw a look on their faces that showed me how excited they were to begin something special. Less than five years later, the effort grew to a club team at the high school level, prior to becoming a varsity program for boys and girls. As my kids grew older, I started to assist with the youth soccer programs. The pure enjoyment of watching kids learn and play an organized event is unbelievably contagious.

On the work front, I previously noted that I joined Toastmasters International to boost my own résumé. Part of my reasoning was the pull to get more involved in newly developed groups at work. Toastmasters was one of a few new clubs that came as an offshoot of a small group of grassroots leaders from the company who felt we had to do more on site. The goal of this grassroots group was to advance diversity and get more people involved in things they believed in. I knew that I could lead the new Toastmasters group after it had stalled for almost a year since originally being chartered.

Our company encouraged Toastmaster's participation, so I knew it would be a positive step for me professionally. I was almost instantly obsessed with the start-up Toastmasters operation. I was amazed at how quickly people started to get caught up in the benefits of Toastmasters. There were multiple people who were hesitant to even show up as guests, let alone stand up in front of a group of people. Yet, when they did, their mistakes turned into learning, which turned into greater confidence in ability. I saw people who said over thirty "um's" and "ah's" in their first four-minute speech, provide a perfectly organized and formulated seven-minute speech with proper grammar (and no filler words) less than three months later.

Toastmasters challenged my abilities to effectively balance work, family, and other obligations. I found, with smart planning, that I could do them all effectively. My wife unconditionally supported every move I made with the club. I started to emerge as a respected leader on the work campus, and I found that my communication skills improved and were getting noticed. I was getting something out of it, but that was no longer my sole motivation to be there. I saw the value of teaching others and watching them gain self confidence. Because of Toastmasters, I even wrote a speech about my first visit to the Maine State Special Olympics that turned into befriending my company's Special Olympic team and becoming a committed volunteer.

Our Toastmasters club had an active military person who had presented his manager with a prestigious national award. He was embarrassed for himself and knew he could improve his presentation skills. He joined our group and went after his personal goal to achieve his communication certification with fervor and impatience. He had a lust to learn and improve. He was called to active duty and brought his Toastmasters manuals with him and still pursued his goals to get certified. He was the third person in the club to achieve this certification. He achieved his own personal goals, and I burst with pride watching the drive to accomplish something that meant so much to him and his family.

I saw people in our club get involved in order to build up their leadership and communication skills, and then became successful club officers. The club grew from the original two people to a fairly consistent level of twenty five members in less than eighteen months. Our club partnered with other internal work groups to assist them with their communication and leadership skills, and soon we found ourselves expanding beyond our original vision. I joined for myself, and found myself staying for others. It was contagious.

Previous chapters:

• Part I-Vision and Mission, Introduction-The Roots of My Transformation
• Part II-The Transformation, Chapter 1-Get a Mentor
• Part II, Chapter 2 - Be a Mentor, and Learn Something Yourself
• Part II, Chapters 3 and 4 - Gain trust and respect; write down your accomplishments
• Part II, Chapters 5, 6, and 7 - Stop and smell the roses; send a note to say thank-you; learn to communicate assertively
• Part II, Chapters 8, 9, and 10 - Winning isn't evertything; 'Wait three months'; stand up for what's right
• Part II, Chapters 11, 12 and 13 - Differentiate yourself; be impatiently patient; prove people wrong
• Part II, Chapters 14, 15 and 16 - Prove people right, have diverse role models, write down your goals
• Part II, Chapters 17, 18 and 19 - Control what you can control; show compassion; set an example
• Part II, Chapters 20, 21 and 22 - Do something with book recommendations; live in the present, work smarter, not harder
• Part II, Chapters 23, 24, 25 and 26 - Let your music out; open the gift of feedback; step away and clear your head; be aware that 'nobody is not trying'
• Part II, Chapters 27, 28, 29 and 30 - Don't let people leave their manager or the company; be flexible and adaptable; have the right priorities and set the right priorities; build a network
• Part II, Chapters 31, 32, 33 and 34 - Lead the parade; be sensitive to multiple generations in the workplace; control self-imposed pressures, play music in the background
• Part II, Chapters 35, 36, 37 and 38 - Know your value proposition; build credibility and success through effective communication; understand communication preferences, know what the written word says about you
• Part II, Chapters 39, 40, 41 and 42 - Learn the value of effective verbal communication; take action-hope won't win the game without a game plan; learn to manage up-down- and around; laugh at work-laugh with others.
• Part II, Chapters 43, 44, 45 and 46 - Build, maintain a strong resume; manage your time-don't let it manage you (Parts I, II, III)
• Part II, Chapters 47, 48, 29 and 50 - Don't try to boil the ocean; be responsible with the power of position; know when to let go, move on; send your message and watch it grow
• Part II, Chapters 51, 52, 53, 54 and 55 - Become a good listener; be the bigger person; surround yourself with pictures; get to know the people you work with; belance being a leader and a doer

• Part II, Chapters 56, 57, 58, 59 and 60 - Give people second chances; do stuff you love; share best practices; take time for yourself-you deserve it; get involved at work, school and life-it's contagious

• Part II, Chapters 61, 62, 63, 64, 65 and 66 - Know the whole story; be yourself; treat each day like an interview; be a teacher-you will learn more; value people; revisit the things that made you better, stronger

• Part III - What now?