OK, so as I said last week this column has been dragging on for half a year now. I just counted 25 food columns! Yikes! Time flies.

I’m going to have to start thinking outside the box now because I’ve already used a lot of my favorite recipes. Luckily I still have a relatively long lifetime of stories (I’m old, remember?), and no doubt memories of food I’ve eaten or been inspired by over the years will continue to surface in my addled, manhattan-soaked brain. That’s a joke. One manhattan a day does not a brain addle.

So. This week there WILL be a test, as promised, or threatened. Are you scared? Or are you thinking, “Man, she’s starting to sound a little full of herself. Who cares about a stupid test about her stupid food column.”

Give me a break and just bear with, ok?

Before the test, though, I have to tell you about a recipe I invented over the weekend at the cottage.

On Saturday night my brother, Peter, (named after Peter Pan) and I drove over to John Olson’s wharf and got lobsters. We could have walked but he’s almost as old as I, and it was hot. I whipped up a pot of linguine with ricotta, garlic, olive oil and lemon juice. Peter’s wife, Kerry, made a salad. We sat on the deck with manhattans before dinner. Does that surprise you? And I probably don’t have to tell you we had chardonnay with dinner. Needless to say it was delicious.

Sunday was a typical Sunday at the cottage. Mostly lazing around on the deck reading, eating and talking about a ride to Rockland, which we talk about a lot, but only do when we can drag ourselves away from the deck and the cool ocean breeze. Sunday is also a day for other Bird Pointers to wander over and share idle chatter. On that particular Sunday a couple friends from Sugarloaf surprised us. Carol and Dennis. They’ve been married for 20 years. She’s 85. He’s like 56. I love that. And no, she’s not rich.

That night I decided to make linguine with white clam sauce. Easy and quick. It occurred to me that we had half a pot of the linguine with lemon, garlic and ricotta left over from the night before. Even quicker. And the more I thought about it the more excited I got. Cushing is my favorite place in the world, but it’s not exactly exciting, so little things can get blown out of proportion.

I got my recipe for the clam sauce from Joe Williamson, original owner, with his partner, Larry Sullivan, of Tufulio’s, at Sugarloaf, and McSeagull’s, in Boothbay Harbor.

Joe was a great cook. He was a huge personality. He was generous to a fault. He had an infamous sense of humor. Women loved him. He wasn’t such a great boyfriend. He always said: “Tragedy plus time equals comedy.” That didn’t always prove true. He died on June 2. I miss him.

Anyway his recipe for white clam sauce was simply this: Heat a generous amount of olive oil (maybe ¼ cup). Sauté chopped fresh garlic (as much as you want) till translucent and a tiny bit golden. Throw in a couple cans minced (not chopped) clams, with broth. Simmer for a while. Throw in a chunk of butter and some chopped Italian parsley. That’s all, folks.

Spoon over linguine and throw a handful of Parmesan cheese on top.

Now. Remember the leftover linguine with ricotta and lemon? Imagine THAT with the clam sauce. And Parmesan on top! Think about it. Then just do it. I actually put the leftover linguine in the oven at 450 for five minutes first. It was golden brown and crunchy on top. I never cease to amaze myself.

Sue Mello had given me some summer squash from her garden. (She probably wishes she hadn’t now, but that’s another one for the memoirs.) I sliced the squash and threw some garlic powder, salt and olive oil on it and roasted at 450 for around 15 minutes. Sweet!

Ok now for the test. 12 questions. First person to get 100 wins a manhattan with me and dinner at a cheap roadside joint. And don’t worry about insulting me by not bothering to take the test. I have become a master at brushing insults aside. Plus the prize could actually be considered a booby prize.

Some are true or false. Others will require a 1-10 word answer. One is a trick question:

1. I dumped a guy because of the way he carried a pizza. True or false

2. My favorite drink is a ...

3. What was dirty about Dirty Pete other than his fingernails?

4. My favorite dessert of all time is ...

5. I am a wine snob. True or false

6. How many times have I been married? 1, 2, 4

7. I love raw oysters. True or false

8. I hate McDonald’s fries. True or false

9. I love canned whipped cream. True or false

10. Salt fish dinner smells good. True or false

11. How many boyfriends have I had?

12. You enjoy reading this column. True or false, and why?

Think long and hard about number 12. It isn’t really a true or false question, but it will weigh heavily on your overall score.

Cut this out of the paper and send, with answers, to:

On Eating and Loving Food

Boothbay Register, 97 Townsend Ave., Boothbay Harbor, ME 04538

For online readers: Email answers to: suzithayer@boothbayregister.com

See ya next week!

I’m not a chef. I lay no claim to being an authority on food or cooking. I’m a good cook, and a lover of good food. And I know how to spell and put a sentence together. This column is simply meant to be fun, and hopefully inspiring. So to anyone reading this whose hackles are raised because you know more about the subject of food than I, relax. I believe you. And always feel free to send an email with compliments to suzithayer@boothbayregister.com