Dear Old Guy welcomes letters on all subjects, including love, marriage, child rearing, even basic plumbing and medical advice. What he doesn’t know, he is happy to make up. After all, he’s just an opinionated Old Guy.

Submit your questions to Dear Old Guy here.

Dear Old Guy,

I have an issue with the minister of our church. Simply put, he curses like a sailor and I find it very off-putting. It doesn’t happen when he’s giving a sermon but the moment those robes come off out come the four-letter words. Here’s a big part of why I am writing now. I have a daughter who is hoping to get married in our church next spring and I am really afraid you know who might do something to embarrass everyone during the ceremony. What would you do in my situation?

Signed, Aching ears

Dear Aching,

Wow, he’s my kind of clergy. I knew a rabbi once who we suspected was using foul language but we couldn’t be sure because everything he said was from right to left.

Anyway, back to your situation. I don’t think you’ll have a problem at the wedding. The minister hasn’t slipped up in the past so he knows how to keep his holy persona holy. Just make sure he doesn’t have wine before the ceremony least he confuse the word kiss with another four-letter word and tell the groom he may do it then and there. —O.G.

Dear Old Guy,

The others in the office and I are having an argument that we hope you can settle. Is it okay to tell a female coworker that she looks nice on any particular day? The females are saying to us males things like ‘you look good’ or ‘nice suit’ or ‘really like that haircut’; yet, according to workplace rules men are theoretically never supposed to say things like that to women. It is all so confusing!

Signed, Baffled Cubicle Worker

Dear Baffled,

First let me say that you are lucky to work in an office where everyone is so nice looking. You should take a gander at some of the people who work in this place. Until you’ve seen a minotaur running around a newsroom, well, you just have no idea. Trust me, you don’t want to be near the water cooler when he gets thirsty.

So I surveyed some woman at the retirement home I put my wife in about your situation. They grew up in the old school where guys tended to get a tad aggressive in the workplace. They said it would be fine to make compliments from a distance of three feet or more but if you happen to be a gay man or extremely wealthy, much closer. I hope that helps. —O.G.

Dear Old Guy,

I am having an isue with my computer. Everytime I pause to think wwwhile tyyyyyyping the last letter goes on like a machine gunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. There it just did it agggggggain. Is there some setttttttttttting I can chhhhhange? I am now using Microsoft Vista but this has beennnn going on since beeeeeeefore.

Signeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed Clarice

Dear Clarice,

I’d like to ask if you have the same issue while singing aloud or reciting poetry. But, assuming you don’t, you might try lifting your fingers off the keys while you pause to think. Write back and tell me if it workkkkkkkkkkkkks. Gad, now I have it, too! —O.GGGGG.