I’m not a guy who’s in favor of more laws. Education is the secret to change. Sometimes, people need to be encouraged to be educated and I guess that’s where laws come in. When Jesse was little, the seat belt law for kids was just coming into effect and whenever I buckled him up, he’d tell me to buckle up, too. That pretty much sealed the deal for me on that.

Over approximately 30 years on the fire service, I‘ve seen a lot of hurt or dead people in car accidents who would have been much better off if they had been wearing their seatbelts. Pretty much the same with a helmet when riding a motorcycle. But I’m not writing about seatbelts or motorcycle helmets, I’m talking about men understanding women. I think mandatory education would be a really positive thing.

Sure we have the ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’ type books that we can all read. Women may be from Venus, but most men are from down the street somewhere.

While I’m not an expert on this subject, I do have a great deal of experience. Some sort of mandatory education with a card showing you completed the course would be valuable. I’m thinking a five-year refresher should be included in the program.

I have no idea what the official penalty would be for those who didn’t comply, but the lack of education would be much more painful than any government penalty.

Here are some examples of the communication gap. Let me share this disclaimer right at the start. Kathy and I get along really well and do pretty well at communicating, but we (I) could have benefited from some education.

I have the same breakfast almost every morning; Honey Nut Cherrios, with blueberries on top, orange juice and an English muffin, usually raisin cinnamon. Every day I go to the cupboard, get my bowl and have my breakfast.

About five or six years ago, Kathy decided to rearrange the cupboards while I was away. The first morning back I reached for my bowl and there were glasses where the bowls used to be. I was done. No bowls, no breakfast.

When I asked about the bowls, Kathy’s reply was that they were “right there.”

This is a public service announcement for young males entering a relationship. When she says “right there” you need to politely ask more questions. There is a potential for this to get ugly. I have learned over the years that “right there” means something altogether different to a woman than it does to a man.

Understanding “right there” would be powerful for men to learn in the mandatory education. When I challenged Kathy that the bowls were not “right there”, she opened another cupboard door and said, “yes they are.” This has happened enough times in our relationship that I now ask for further clarification as to exactly where “right there” is.

“I just need to pee.” This one is also difficult for the novice male to understand.

To the average male, that’s about a 30-second process including hand washing, if you bother.

To a female, it indicates at least 10 minutes and possibly more if there are complications with makeup, fashion, etc. It’s important to understand that one statement can mean two completely different things to a man or a woman. I’m not even going to mention, “I’ll be right there.”

People always bust me about how much younger my wife looks than me and it’s because she takes good care of herself. I’ve had a lot of fun and I guess it shows. Kathy does a lot of natural stuff and while it probably would benefit me, I rarely get involved. I’m supportive, but usually don’t participate.

One thing she’s been doing for a while is swishing coconut oil in her mouth for 20 minutes every morning. We make sure we don’t have anything pressing to discuss and then she “goes under.”

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that the oil was now more of a liquid and when I asked about it, she explained that as the house was warmer now, the oil had turned to liquid and looked different.

When I started having some allergy, possibly a cold, issues, she said: “Why don’t you try swishing the coconut oil? It’s great for sinuses and lots of other things.”

I decided to give it a try. Before she was downstairs, I got a teaspoon of coconut oil, checked the time and started swishing. It was not all that great.

After 20 minutes, I spit it out and began my day. The second day was the same. No significant difference in the allergy/cold situation, but not feeling any worse.

The third morning I popped the question: Why does the coconut oil out on the counter that I’m using look different than the one over in corner?

“That’s an empty jar that I put Dawn dishwashing detergent and water in to dissolve the oil.”

Here’s the good news: Since my mouth was washed out with soap, I didn’t say a dirty word for two days.

Also, since it’s almost impossible to swish something around in your mouth for 20 minutes without swallowing, I did some sort of internal cleansing.

Still having the allergy/cold symptoms, I asked where the “real” coconut oil was.

“It’s right there.” she replied.

I really need this school. And if you’re a guy, you need it, too. There needs to be a law.